It is AS IF YOU WERE STILL HERE

I went to my back yard and
I ran to the end of my world and turned
And nothing that I found I was strengthened
Something I always was missing, something thatdid not quite know what.
I returned dishonored, king without a kingdom
I lay on the wet grass and rested
I closed my eyes and dreamed of nothing
Because all discouraged me, nothing I saw why.

Now I count the dead and wounded that my match
There are no winners, only losers. And I among them.
And to think it could have been different
If someone like you never would have gotten.

But you came.

And the wreckage of yesterday are still around to remember:
The crooked lines also in the warp,
And the scars are like road signs to warn me:
Writing some also confuses us.

But will never learn the lesson?
Will wither when the flowers next spring
I will act differently, or do all the same again?

I do not know, I'm like stone that is enchantedwith the sea
While some bounces on the water before sinking.

But I, I opened my arms and just hugged you.
I knew you were dangerous and still took a chance.
I lay on the ground with gunpowder and match his name scratched.
What else would you expect besides fireworks
Lit at night unaware of the joy?

Oh, the things in life have a curious way I happen
And when any one event, even banal, reminds me of you
It's as if you were so close and yet so far away from me.

But it is not.
Because it never really was.

Because I know from my garden and that ofanyone else,
Because I went to the end of the world and thebent
Because I ran into the backyard and back
Because I needed something that I found,
Because it is exactly what I am reluctant to admit
But they never existed.